Every 3rd week of treatment will be a more thorough look at Toni's status. We thought that yesterday would be an in/out kinda day. Not necessarily the case. It all started off ok, but we found out that the lab folks take a longer and more detailed look at Toni's blood and counts. We spent a lot more time working on Toni's headaches and mild nausea. Again the process is usually a saline flush of the port followed by Zofran for nausea and then into the M&F chemo drugs, followed by a saline flush. Yet the staff decided to move Toni towards perhaps another longer lasting anti-nausea drug that is suppose to help with headaches as well. The end result was a 6 hr visit instead of a 2.5 hr visit, and more complex exchange of drugs. Needless to say after we grabbed some vittles for a late lunch, we then lost 2 hrs face down in our pillows.
Toni seems to have fewer symptoms today, but emotionally this was probably the hardest week yet. Toni is very aware of her cancer. We took a lot more time to talk this weekend. I also treated her to a massage this morning to help her relax. I think, to her especially, the road just seems long and weary. She has lots of physical markers and regimens that constantly remind her that things are different. And she simply wants it back the way it was.
Yet, we are on a new path. I am now, more than ever, so very happy to be with Toni. It is difficult to see her a bit more emotionally fragile. We tell each other that our life together will be rich with love and joy. Mostly, this is now about preventing cancer, not eradicating it. That is our new course in life. Although a more challenging path... It will make us healthier in the long run. And therefore, together. Each week of treatment is a gain of "years of life."
In less than a week, we'll be with family. And that will provide more reasons for Toni to feel that she is getting better. No doubt our trip to Colorado will comfort her precious heart.
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