Toni will be starting chemo at 9am on Friday, June 5th. Mark it down. We'll be counting down from now on. She'll start the day with a blood test. They use the blood test to benchmark her white count and other "markers." Then she will proceed to start her first chemo infusion. We should be done around noon. Hopefully, we'll keep to this schedule. It works out the best for the both of us. The first week should pass somewhat calmly. After that, the treatment becomes a cumulative series of events.
In some regards, we are prepared for what is coming. We have educated ourselves, and discussed the changes that must now become part of our daily routine. Food choices will be critical. Exercise and mediation must be consistently done. Both of us are changing our work habits to allow extra time to be together for the next 6 to 8 months (minimum). And then it is all about focusing on one day at a time. Perhaps, tracking our progress on this blog will help keep us grounded.
Understandably, cancer has forced us onto a new path. Yet , it seems that this path is healthier in a very strange way. It almost has a liberating feeling. May I suggest that LIFE "is." And isn't that the point? Life is many things. Now Toni and I must redefine what it "is." A vivid memory surfaces for me; remember Jack Palance in the movie "City Slickers." Jack Palance played the leather tough cowboy guiding Billy Crystal and others through the wilderness on a "dude" ranch cattle drive. Billy Crystal is struggling to "find" himself, and asks Jack Palance what the meaning of life is. Jack Palance answers (holding up his hand with only his index finger pointed toward the sky), "that." Billy looks at him curiously and says, "Your finger?" Jack clarifies as scruffily as only he can, "One thing, and the rest doesn't matter." First blush, that would seem a bit narrow, but for me, I am beginning to "get it." No doubt I may need to make course corrections, yet my one thing is "time for family." Careers and life goals have started to be questioned. Since being with Toni, my views of life went from chaotic to pragmatic to dynamic. So, as you might imagine, our bedtime conversations have us questioning everything and making better life decisions that extend towards not only us but our families.
Whew, well enough of Bryan's therapy session. I now owe a lot of people something for the time spent reading this. More later... love to all.
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